Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
