She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
She's the barista slut.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
