One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
