Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
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