can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I am mentally ready for anal.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
