Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Randomize
