Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
