Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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