Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
