I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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