you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
