You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
