We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
