If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
