he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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