I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I will be naked everywhere
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
