he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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