ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I need to sanitize my soul.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
