My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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