I want to have your abortion
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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