Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize