are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
do herpes really smell.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
