So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
