chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
