So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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