why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
