is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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