Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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