So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
