i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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