hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
