And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
