My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
