last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
