are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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