high people should be assigned attendants
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
