She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
