Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
