Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
