Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
