It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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