Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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