ya dads aren't the best wingmen
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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