you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
