I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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