my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
