from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
