I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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