Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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