problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize