i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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