Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
