I think I died a long time ago.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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