Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
